Thoughts

This picture below is of Harriet. She's the matriarch ewe of the flock of sheep that reside on my uncle's land on Saltspring. She's probably the ugliest sheep I've ever seen and she has a distorted bleat. It's actually hilarious. Watching the sheep in their stupidity-they actually run toward a car when it's driving toward them-I wonder to myself: "Does God laugh to Himself that we are his sheep?" When you think about it it's pretty insulting that we get called sheep. Maybe that's not the point though. Maybe the point is that God is so amazing because He actually chooses to shepherd us. We really are stupid but He is really compassionate and patient. He continues to love us and lead us even when we run toward the big moving vehicle.

Yesterday I met a 42 year old who is dying of cancer. I was infuriated when I looked out his window and saw that he was spending his last days looking at an ugly hospital building. On the other side of that hospital building is the city and the water and the mountains. Beauty. It resides beyond that building. I found myself praying that he would be moved to another ward where he could at least look on the beauty of the earth as he breathes his last breaths.

That was at work....downtown I walked past a woman who was begging who had one arm and had obviously been burned in an accident of some sort. I walked past her, stopped, turned around and went back to her. "what are you doing out here?" "I'm trying to get money to feed my kids...I'm not homeless. I don't live on the street. I've done that before and I'm never doing it again." "how many children do you have?" "10 but only 2 live with me." "Why?" "I was a drug addict, prostitute and most of my kids are old enough now to live on their own." "How old are you?" "39...I have 5 grandchildren." "How did you get your injuries?" "My mother did it to me when I was a baby." "I'm so sorry. You are very beautiful." "Thank you." "My pleasure."

Tonight I will go and play music with friends. Sometimes that helps make sense of things. It at least makes the fury of life beautiful for a little while. A taste of what is to come. A taste of the way it is intended to be.