lifeboat

I had a very interesting conversation today about how we, as humans, tend to put ourselves in a hierarchy. It stemmed from the 'social experiment' at the end of The Dark Knight. If you haven't seen it and you want to you might want to stop reading here. So.... near the end of the movie the people of Gotham are being evacuated on ferries in an attempt to get away from the Joker's reign of terror. There is a ferry full of average citizens and a ferry full of prisoners along with some guards. The ferries suddenly stop working and the voice of the Joker comes over the intercom system saying "each ferry has a detonator that can explode the other ferry. If neither blows up the other I will blow up both at midnight." Of course this is said with much more bravado and an incredibly creepy voice. The conversations between passengers then begin. On the average citizen boat the argument is, "those prisoners chose their destiny. They've had their chance." On the prisoners boat, "It's what they would expect us to do." I won't tell you what happens to the ferries but I'm sure you've had a gut reaction as to what you would do.

The conversation about the movie morphed into the lifeboat dilemma and how people use other people as their measuring sticks. Then how we as Christians compare ourselves to other Christians instead of Jesus 'cause it makes us feel better. We talked about where all of this comes from inside of us. And it's an ugly place. It's a place that needs to be redeemed and transformed. Each and everyone of us has the capacity to justify the destruction of another based on human righteousness. There is always someone who is worse than us. There is always someone who is better. That is why the measuring stick needs to be perfection in the person of Jesus.

As we continued we finally realized that the only right answer, the only righteous answer, to the lifeboat dilemma is letting everyone else take a spot. Choosing to not have a spot at all. If that is our initial gut reaction then maybe, just maybe, we understand just a little what Jesus is like 'cause that's what he did. He gave us all a spot on the lifeboat even though none of us earned it. It's funny how when it comes down it this is where we end up. Vying for a place on the proverbial lifeboat when we don't have to vie at all. We just need to accept the place that is freely given to us. Now that's a little humbling isn't it?

home sweet home

I am realizing that my inner being craves time at home doing domestic things like baking and cleaning. I believe this has a lot to do with how much I love the space I live in. Buying this condo is the best thing I've done in a very long while. Everyone who comes here usually says one of two things: "It's so peaceful." "It's so cozy." These phrases are usually uttered while looking around with a smile.

The journey to owning this condo was wrought with a little drama however. I remember looking at pictures of this place online that my realtor had sent me. I remember thinking "that place is probably gone already. I could never get that place." Then when I started looking my realtor brought me here and instantly I felt inside "I want to live here." I put an offer in. Then the drama began. Possession dates. Renegotiation of the price because of some inspector stuff. My realtor advised me to walk away. So I did. I was really sad. I started looking at other places while mourning the loss of this place. Nothing really seemed right. After a few weeks went by my realtor called and asked if I was still interested. The rest is history and here I am. Sitting on my new couch in love with my condo.

I guess the old adage about love is true about real estate too. If you love something, set it free. It will come back if it was meant to be.

morning

I really, really hate waking up before 730. It's wrong. Waking up to cheery radio voices does not make 545 any easier. I think I need to figure out which nurse in history decided that we should all start working in the hour that starts with a 7. I don't like her at all.

nursey words and phrases I like

Because I am at work I am surrounded by nursey language. Here are some of my favorite words and phrases. If you figure a couple of these out you might just be disgusted. I'll try to keep it tame.

• Inspiratory wheeze
• Precordial thump
• insitu
• empyema
• purulent
• neuro breath
• ICUitis
• loculated
• self limiting
• stat
• code brown

One rather disturbing thing that all of us do is to describe various body fluids by equating it with food. Commonly used foods include:

• vanilla pudding
• mustard
• rotten sour cream
• red juice
• prune juice
• There are many more but I fear you may never read my blog again.
  

Finally, this next list is some things that all of us who have been nursing for more than 10 years can relate to. All of these phrases start with, "you know you're a nurse when...

• You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.
• You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
• You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.
• When checking the level of orientation of a patient... you aren't sure of the answer.
• Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank
• Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural
• You've told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to HOLLER if they need help.
• You don't get excited about blood loss... unless it's your own

a conglomeration of information....hey that rhymes!

First of all I would like to confess to all who care that I ate McDonald's cheeseburgers last night. yes, it's true. I just couldn't fend off the niggling desire any more. A girl will relent after a good 3 or 4 months of persistent cravings. And, oh my goodness, it was delicious. Confession over. Let's move on.

Shooting stars are beautiful. Lying on a blanket with a good friend watching shooting stars is even more beautiful. Somehow being outside late at night brings out great conversation. I love honest conversations. I love silly conversation. I love talking about Jesus and how He's changing me and hearing about how He's changing others. I really love that Beth has an inspiratory wheeze when she's laughing heartily.

I found out yesterday that unexpected people read my blog. It was very heartwarming. Sometimes it feels like I write these words and send them out into cyberspace and no one really cares. Thanks for reading! And if you'd like to leave a witty, or not so witty, comment that'd be great.

Yesterday at work I was taking care of a particularly sick patient. It was me and two of the docs in the room for a good 3 hours just doing procedure after procedure. One of our senior residents is a smallish guy with a big heart. We had to pull the patient up the bed so she was in the right position for one of the procedures. This smallish doc offered to help me. "1, 2, 3" We pull her up and the patient moves about 6 inches up and over towards me leaving her at an angle in the bed. He looks up at me and says with a smirk, "clearly there is a power differential here." Oh the light moments in the midst of the chaos!

Two weeks ago, before I went to Terrace, I got my new couch complete with a movable chaise lounge. Unfortunately the legs for the movable part didn't come with the couch. They are coming today!! YAY for being able to lounge comfortably!

Sometimes when I look at my calendar for the fall I feel a little panicky. How will I get this all done?! But I always do and it's always fun.

Okay friends, thanks for reading this mess. I'm sure I have even more thoughts that just aren't surfacing right now. They will probably come to me in the middle of the night at work tonight. Now I must clean my house. As my mother always said, "It's not going to clean itself you know." They make self cleaning ovens. Why not self cleaning apartments? Now there's an idea!

silly girls

For the last week I've been in the middle of nowhere. I'm not being facetious when I say that. I've driven a lot of roads that have a had a lot of signs that say, "check your fuel 'cause there's no gas station for a really long time." Okay, the sign doesn't say that exactly but you get my drift.

It has been a glorious week. Dave, Karla and I drove to Terrace in a little over 15 hours which is incredibly good. I ate KFC in Smithers which seems to be becoming a tradition 'cause I did the exact same thing last year. We went straight to Karla's family reunion at a campground pretty close to Terrace for two nights. On Monday me and Karla drove to Kinaskan Provincial Park (Dave left earlier with his Dad). To pass our time, 4 hours, we chewed a lot of Hubba Bubba, blew bubbles and cracked our gum. And we looked for bears, which we saw.

When we arrived at the campground, the lovely, manly men set up our tents so Karla and I could go fishing. We went fishing at 930 in the evening 'cause the sun doesn't go down until well after 10. It's actually still light enough to see at 11. Now I haven't fished since I was 8 so really this is my first time. David gives me a quick tutorial on the fishing rod and off we go. We canoed for a little while to find a good spot and about 20 minutes in I catch one. I reel it in and Karla gets it into the net. It's a decent sized rainbow trout that's flip flopping away in the bottom of the canoe. For some reason both Karla and I start screaming like little girls which quickly descends into uncontrollable giggling followed by screaming whenever the fish jumps. We start to paddle furiously back to shore which is very difficult to do when you are laughing uncontrollably. Because sound travels so unbelievably well on a lake, strangers are coming to the shore and yelling, "just kill it!" to which Karla responds, "I just can't!" while I continue to laugh. We can both see David standing on the shore shaking his head. Mercifully David kills the fish and then proceeds to clean it for me. We ate it about 30 minutes later cooked with onions, lemon and butter. Scott's specialty.

In the next few days I will post pictures of our adventure. It was beautiful and peaceful and exactly what I needed to calm my soul. It was good to be away from email and phones. It was good to rest in Jesus in the midst of His creation. It was good. And there is more good to come. The next few weeks, months, years are full of good things I am sure. Sometimes it just takes getting away from all the goodness to have eyes to see how good it all is.