dates. the kind you go on, not the kind you eat.

I have been on many different kinds of dates with many different men/boys.

Best date: dinner and a play with a really cute guy who had berated his friends for not introducing me to him earlier.

Worst date: Lunch with a guy who looked at me at the end and said, "I suppose I should pay for this." My biggest regret is not saying, "well, yeah you should 'cause it's going to be your only chance." A number of my male friends wanted his address so they could beat him up.

Blind date #1: A couple of years ago I was a faculty member at Trinity Western University. My students were quite distressed that I was not married yet and set to trying to find me a husband. Although the average age of nursing students at TWU is about 19, there was one mature student. She was in her 40's. She set me up with her brother. Now, I'm game for practically anything, but I did experience a little anxiety when I realized this person was 15 years older than me. We met for dinner at a nice place in Vancouver. He was an attractive man and a pretty good conversationalist. We talked about work and where we'd grown up. About our families and places we had travelled. He started talking about high school and how we have all made mistakes and I nodded in agreement wondering where this was going. He said when he was in grade 12 he had fathered a child. I nodded compassionately while frantically calculating how old this child must be now. As I calculated in my head he said, "Now I have three grandchildren." I seriously must have looked stunned. Calculating ages quickly turned to "holy crap, I can't be a grandmother!" which turned to me finishing the three bites of food left on my plate. He paid for the meal and walked me to my car. That was the end of that.

Blind date #2: My friends parents and this guys parents were in a bible study together. They all knew we were both single so it was destiny right?! anyway, we met at a Starbucks in Surrey 'cause this guy lived there and he didn't want to drive over a bridge. This should have tweaked a number of red flags early on. He got there first and bought himself a coffee before I arrived thus keeping himself from having to buy me a coffee. He then proceed to talk about himself for one hour and 10 minutes pausing briefly to ask me, "so why AREN'T you married?" I thought to myself at that moment, "well, I know why you aren't." Shockingly, I went out with this guy again. See 'worst date' above.

Hilarious highlight to this blind date is my friend's husband, who just happens to be the lead pastor at my church, drove by to make sure I was okay. (just to clarify, this was before Westside existed.) He came by in his minivan with his, at the time, 3 year old in the car seat. He went through the drive thru very slowly and says he stopped and stared at me for quite some time. I must have been mesmerized by my date 'cause I didn't even notice him. He laughed and laughed the next time I saw him.

Well, there are a couple of stories which often make me smile. I'm glad I took the chances I did otherwise there would be not stories to tell. If a blind date was offered again I would go. Who knows? It may just turn out entirely different next time.

devotion or not?

Sometimes people's sense of devotion is a little over the top. I had an interesting conversation with the daughter of one of my patients and I can honestly say I am concerned about her definition of devotion. This lovely 40 something year old woman works 9-5 monday to friday and then spends the other 16 hours of her day with her elderly mother. EVERYDAY of the year. She does not have a family of her own, nor does she have any hobbies. Her mother is in hospital and she sits outside the ICU in the waiting room all day and night except for one hour when she goes home to take a shower. She lives 10 minutes away. I tried to get her to go home tonight so she could sleep in her bed and not in a chair. She would not agree to leave. I said, "leaving does not diminish the love you have for your mother. Your mother probably wants you to take care of yourself. How will you be able to care for her if you don't care for yourself?" As our conversation continued I finally said the thing I wanted to say, "what will you do when your mother dies? She is going to die one day, whether it's while she's in the hospital now or a year from now but it is going to happen. What will you do?" She could not answer me. I don't think she knows what she would do. Her entire life is her mother. I don't think that's what devotion to a parent looks like. I don't think that's what devotion to anyone looks like. I'm pretty sure devotion to someone else should make you more of the person you are intended to be. Devotion to another person should make you bloom like a flower not wither like a weed. I prayed for my patient's daughter as she walked away from me. I prayed that she would somehow come to understand that this life is a gift and that she would experience it to the full. I prayed that she would understand what love for her mother should look like. I prayed that she would be okay.

GREAT weekend.

So I promise this post will have a much sunnier disposition than my last one! This has been a fantastic weekend. On Friday I was at a BBQ with most of the people I am going to India with. Then most of us headed to an art show of one of our team members. She is displaying and selling her photos in a chocolate shop called Cocoa Nymph. It's just west of Alma on the north side of 10th. You should go. Her photos will be there until my birthday. That's October 13th in case you were wondering.

Saturday was the pinnacle of the weekend. I was up early buying last minute items for the appetizers I needed to make. The day before I had done all of the baking so just the appy's were left. I tend to try making things I've never made before when people are coming over and Saturday was no exception. First time making hummus. It was pretty good. About three hours went by and all the appy's were ready. Then I had some company who helped me move all of my furniture around to accommodate the possible 30-40 people that could invade my 700 square foot apartment. Around 430 the guests started arriving. Slowly at first and then the tidal wave came. At the peak of the party I had about 35 people filling every corner. It was amazing!! I am so happy that this little piece of property I own is conducive to parties 'cause I really like throwing them. I really like the process of planning and inviting and preparing. Friends came from as far as Abbotsford to celebrate my home with me. I felt very loved. I received a LOT of wine. There are 9 bottles of unopened wine in my home so if you'd like to share some wine drop me a line or give me a call. I also received homemade preserves and the extension set to one of my favorite games. GREAT day!

Sunday was my church having an outdoor service right on the edge of the water complete with testimonies and baptisms. Inspirational stories of how God speaks to people individually and draws them to Himself. Five people shared their stories in front of hundreds of others in a public setting. Brave souls. Then they got dunked in the Pacific Ocean. I had the privilege of playing in the band. It was awesome.

Now I have to rearrange furniture and finish cleaning to prepare for the first night of my Small Group Community!

unbelievable

Today I experienced one of the most condescending things a doctor has ever said to me. The worst part is he isn't actually a doctor yet. He's what we call an MSI-medical student intern. So, let me set this up. I was taking care of a man who had been in the ICU for a while. Strangely we're not exactly sure what is wrong with him. He clearly has neurological deficits that were not present before he came into the hospital. He is NOT sleeping. And I don't just mean not sleeping for long periods of time I'm talkin' full on insomnia. No sleep ever. We are doing rounds which really just means 9,000 people standing around talking about a patient and their progress. (We do this everyday, sometimes twice.) So rounds is going on and on and I pipe in saying, "oh yeah, he's not sleeping. Do you think you could order a sleeping pill?" to which the Attending physician says, "I'm not convinced sleeping affects the outcome of patients in the ICU" to which I say, "what?! so the single most healing thing our body does isn't actually that important". This then begins a long discussion between me and the Attending whom I have known for a long time. The discussion ends with, "well clearly you and I are not reading the same critical care research studies." THEN....from out of nowhere, the MSI says, "maybe you could just dim the lights at night." ARE YOU KIDDING?!!! Dim the lights? I never thought of that. Maybe I should turn my own lights off at night. Wow, that explains so much! So friends, if you are having trouble sleeping just dim the lights. The almost doctor says so.