my 10 things

10 things you might not know about me. Inspired by Beth.

1. I am afraid of needles. Getting them, not giving them.
2. I used to eat sugar out of the sugar bowl with a spoon when my mother wasn't looking. It was more about getting away with it than it was about the sugar.
3. From grade 4 to 8 I would write a will before summer vacation would start. Maybe I should get one now.
4. I won the district scholarship for saxophone.
5. Bach is my least favorite composer to play.
6. In grade 8 I got beaten up in the swimming pool change room on the second to last day of school by three very mean girls.
7. I have dated two guys 10 years younger than me and one 10 years older.
8. Grandparents are not part of my memory.
9. Currently I am silently protesting paying for something related to my Nursing license.
10. I have been craving a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for approximately 3 months but I have successfully thwarted the temptation so far.

read my friend's blog

Please, please, please read Brandon's latest blog entry. I dare you to do it without getting a little choked up. I also dare you to not think a little more clearly about your own life and how out of whack this world we live in is. But there is hope and somtimes it comes in the form of water from a spout. Read his blog and you'll understand what I mean. The link is to the right. Brandon in Burundi.

It's been a while

It has been a little while since I've written and a few people have pointed it out. So here I am writing. And I'm not really sure what I will say. Maybe that's a good thing. In fact I am in the middle of a situation that isn't really what was expected or dreamt about but may actually be the best thing. That is yet to be determined. I am trying to find great pleasure in the unknown and the unexpected. It really does make life so interesting. I'm reminded of a great quote. Here it is:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers that cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it live along some distant day into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Here is something that was totally unexpected but makes me giddy if I think about it or tell someone the story. So here goes. A few weeks ago my friend Dana asked me to play some keys on her album. Then she asked me to sing some background vocals. It was fun and exciting and entirely new. During that whole process the lead vocalist Melissa asked me if I wanted to play in her band. Then she asked me if I wanted to do a little singing with her. Then she asked, "are you free on July 18th?". I said, "I could be. why?" "well, there's a gig at the Railway Club." In about 60 seconds I went from playing a little on my friends EP to playing a gig in a club in downtown Vancouver. How did this happen?!! It all started by saying 'yes' to the unknown and the unexpected. How could life get any more interesting and exciting?

change

While on vacation last week I went for a drive in Waterloo. As I drove I thought and prayed and allowed myself to really feel what I was feeling, I realized that there have been a lot of difficult changes in my life over the past 6 months. Changes in relationships, both good and hard. Upcoming changes in living space which I'm sure will bring other changes. Changes inside of me and outside of me that all swirl together to either make me laugh with giddiness or, more often it seems, cry. As drove I spoke out loud to God, "do you actually love me? do you actually care about me and all these things going on around me? do you actually plan to do anything about all of this?" A Smart Car turned in front of me. I looked at the back of it. There were two bumper stickers. "Jesus loves You" and "God has plans for you". As much as part of me wants to shrug that off as coincidence more of me knows it was God and His gift to me.

lump in my throat

Things that have brought a lump to my throat in the past few weeks:

• riding my bike through a rainfall of cherry blossoms
• the death of my 30 something patient
• the visit of my former patient, a walking miracle, and her parents
• the hug of a friend
• seeing the city in glorious sunlight rising up from the water
• a sunset at English Bay
• a significant spiritual conversation
• playing Bach
• celebrating a birthday
• watching my mother make faces at a frog at the aquarium
• seeing my Dad use a walker
• laughing out loud with friends
• hearing the voice of Jesus say, "peace be still"

Global Rich List

I just found this website from a link on the blog of a friend. www.globalrichlist.com Go there. Put in your annual income and be astonished. I discovered I am the 55, 287, 298th wealthiest person in the world. Now that may not sound that great but when you think that the world's population is about 6.6 billion people my position in the top 1% is sobering to say the least. It makes my heart ache and I'm not sure what to do. Maybe the guy outside pushing his cart down the lane needs a few bucks or at least a couple of empty bottles.

lovely, lovely friends

For the last few days I have been sick. Sick to the point of needing to lie down after taking a shower or making tea. That kind of sick. I have watched an exorbitant number of movies. I have fallen asleep during most of them.

However, there have been some beautiful moments in the midst of the fear of swallowing. And these moments all have to do with my friends. They are lovely, lovely, lovely. From the frequent phone calls to dropping by to spending time with me to homemade chicken soup and fresh baked bread. These are people I do not deserve nor have I earned. They are the highlights of my life and I love them all.