so many thoughts

Honestly, why do I go for a month without writing? It's silly because if you know me at all, you know I have a lot of thoughts that are just waiting to be expressed. I would probably write more if I didn't have such an extensive social circle. I am not complaining about having so many friends. In fact I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for the beautiful people in my life. However, I am saying that all the stories I am currently living often get expressed face to face.

Here is a brief overview of the overlapping stories of my life:

H1N1 and everything else that comes into the ICU

Yes, this is actually a story in my life. It is my story because it is the story of many of my patients. And, as much as we try, it is impossible for us nurses to keep ourselves out of these strangers stories. I have left work more than once in the past week overwhelmed by tragedy whether it is related to H1N1 or not. More than once I wanted to write "tragedy, oh the tragedy" as my facebook status but I thought it slightly melodramatic. But there is not a better word to describe the chaos of my workplace right now.

India

Late in December I am going with 10 others to one of the orphanages my church sponsors. We will spend Christmas with about 100 children and teenagers who are either true orphans or who are left by living parents at this place because their families are too poor. Leading this team is slightly overwhelming which is probably good because it means I can't do everything by myself and I don't really want to.

Back when I was interviewing people for this team I was having supper with a group of people. They were asking me how the team was coming together. I said it was slow but sure. One of the girls at the table who was just an acquaintance said, "Well, I just like spending Christmas with my family." Me, being me, spoke before my filter went up. "Yeah I bet the orphans would like that too."

Social activity

If my life consisted of just the two above stories I think I would curl up in a ball and die. So, I engage myself in social activity. These activities have included movies, beer, dinner, coffee and a GALA! Fun! I got to wear a fabulous dress and my Nine West shoes and drink wine and eat appetizers carried around by servers who had towels over their arms. And I bid on a few silent auction items. The prize I wanted most was a room redecoration using all your own stuff. I was sure it was going to be mine but at the last second some guy named Allan G outbid me by $10!! I hope I never meet Allan G in a dark alley.

Jesus

Fortunately, the one story that does infiltrate all the other stories is my story with Jesus. Sadly, my story with Jesus has been very rushed. Sometimes it feels like I'm doing shout outs as I run past Him. "Hey! Thanks for being in this story! Gotta go". And He nods and smiles and shakes His head with a smirk and says "Oh Laura, why on earth did I make you like this?" No, actually He's saying, "I'm not part of this story. I am the story. Everything else is part of Me. Don't live it all trying to take Me along. Live all of these stories in light of ME. In the context of Me. It will change everything." And that's when I realize that the ease of life is Jesus shining down His grace and the struggle of life is His grace too.

So I will continue on in the stories that fold themselves around me and look at them in the light of Jesus. It makes getting up for work at 545 just a little easier or staying awake all night for that matter. It makes using my free time preparing to spend two weeks with orphans that much sweeter. And it makes the sweetness of the beautiful people in my life that much sweeter.