a touch and a word

yesterday afternoon 40 or so beautiful young women and one young man were pinned with twu's nursing school pin. it is always a pleasure to watch this ceremony as students and faculty recount the last four years. it is amazing to think that i have had even a small part in these people becoming who they are and what kind of nurses they are. as i watched the ceremony i took in some of the people in the audience. there was one young couple there to see their niece graduate. they have a son who is chronically ill and my friend cares for him in his home a few days a week. as i watched them it was amazing to think how they have been touched by the role of the nurse. i'm sure they carry around both positive and negative memories...but the power of a nurse is incredible.

after the ceremony my friend and i went to have coffee with another amazing couple. they have experienced more stress in their family than most people could handle. they talked a little about their son who died 9 years ago at the age of four. because i'm an icu nurse the dad was telling me about the most profound icu experience he had. he said, 'my son was so sick, i just put my head down and cried and the nurse came over put her hand on my shoulder and asked if i was okay.' out of all the experiences this is what he remembered. the touch and kind word of a complete stranger.

do we even comprehend how one word or action or lack thereof can impact a life? i don't think this applies just to nurses; i think we can all profoundly impact people everyday. it just takes opening our eyes and taking a risk and speaking words that may make us a little vulnerable. but the life it can bring to another soul is worth more than what it will cost us in the long run.

Jesus with skin on

Since breaking my hand I have been amazed at how my lovely friends have shown themselves to me. I have had people make me meals, watch movies with me, come over and play games with me, and take me out for coffee. I opened my door last night to a friend who had baked some cookies for me. It is most humbling to be in this position. I'm not good at asking for help and I pretty much need help to do everything right now. So when Louanne put jam on my toast and Bryan zipped up my jacket and Kim tied my shoes (all at different times!) I actually got teary. Not because I was sad, but because I was amazed again that these people choose to be part of my life and are willing to do such things. My heart is overwhelmed by love. Those friends who have taken time out to be "Jesus with skin on" are most amazing. And I love you all!

Jesus and hockey

they won!!!!!!!! it was so fabulous...I watched the hockey game with my small group...most of the people were okay with watching and others tolerated it. I loved it. Hockey and friends and Jesus all in one evening. Preambled by burgers BBQ'd by my friend Dave who is being merciful to me by making me food I can eat with one hand.

After the game we talked about Jesus and the resurrection and all of life...including game seven...came into a new perspective. Someone in small group asked if hockey was more important than Jesus when he arrived. At first I answered 'yes' to rile him up but I actually think that EVERYTHING is just better because of Jesus...including hockey.

this sucks!

i broke my hand!! i almost broke it 5 weeks ago falling off my bicycle. this time i tripped over myself...outside work...running to catch the light to cross the street. i effectively denied that my hand was broken for 18 hours. i just kept saying to myself "it'll feel better soon" as it got progressively bigger and more grey. I lectured this morning at the hospital and then got on the shuttle and went to the urgent care centre 'cause there's no way I'm sitting in emergency. the very lovely doctor had a hard time seeing the fracture 'cause there's so many bones in your hand. the comedic part of the experience was when I told him he could compare the new xrays to those I had taken 5 weeks ago! He kind of smirked at me...we had a moment. then he told me the half cast i have should stay on for 2 weeks but the bones won't heal for about 6 weeks...I think a week should be fine! (by the way, i typed this entire post with my left hand)

yay for hockey!

Hockey is fabulous!! I will admit that things get a little crazy during the playoffs but really it's just a lot of fun. Tonight me and a few friends fired up the BBQ for the first time this year and watched hockey. We had farmer sausage and other treats while we watched the Canucks take the lead in the series 2-1. We all decided that our favourite new player is Jannik Hansen...and he's not even on the three stars option on the CBC 3 stars website. My dad called periodically throughout the game and told us his predictions, which turned out to be true. The best was when he called at the end of the 3rd period and told us all to stay upbeat 'cause we were going to win! Here's to upbeatness!

Privilege

Each day I live I am pleasantly overwhelmed by how many people entrust me with the privilege of caring for them. In the last few days I have met an elderly Indian woman, an elderly Chinese man, a Scottish lady who's been married three times and who loves Rosie (why oh why?) a middle aged man who has recently become a paraplegic, an incredibly grumpy old man who used to be famous and a 35 year old drug addict...among many others. How incredible is that? Each of these people are unique and beautiful...and I met them and touched them and spoke with them. I even had the privilege of praying with one of them. My life overflows.

Not only that but there are people in my life who allow me the privilege of knowing them and who want to know me. The reciprocity of trust causes something beautiful to bloom. More beautiful than cherry blossoms (although they are pretty dang incredible!). This is when I realize the people I have surrounding me are amazing and valuable and need to be treated with utmost respect and awe. Not in a worshipping sense but in the sense of how precious another person is...and how amazingly precious friendship is. May I never underestimate or disregard the privilege of people whether it is for a fleeting moment or for many years to come.

I thirst

If you look closely at the picture to the left you can see the faint outline of the cross on a damp sidewalk. I was struck by this image as I walked across the Cambie Street Bridge with a friend this morning.

Last night a lovely group of people gathered to listen to Passio composed by Arvo Part and it was brilliant. The phrase that has stayed with me is "I thirst". The phrase was long, drawn out and thirsty. Jesus said, "I thirst" while He hung on the cross on Good Friday. As a friend and I were discussing this phrase we wondered when He actually spoke those words and according to The Gospel of John it was after He cried out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" Up until this morning I took the phrase "I thirst" to mean that Jesus was just physically thirsty. Is it possible that He was speaking about so much more? Was He now actually thirsty to the depths of His soul? As thirsty as we are? As Jesus recognized that He was separated from the Father He thirst. This is where the thirstiness arises from. We need to be reconciled to the Father in order to have our thirst satisfied. Because Jesus cried out, "I thirst", and allowed Himself to thirst to the full extent of the word, I no longer have to. What a humbling, beautiful realization.

My professor

My prof at Regent is one of the funniest men and I'm going to miss him 'cause class is now done. Taking another class with him would be worth the $1300 just to see him do his little excited dance when he talks about something he's really passionate about. At times he'll say things that make me giggle like a 13 year old boy. Today he was talking about how, at times, he lacks humility. He was going on and on about all of the degrees he has and topped it all off with, "I get to the point where I think if I bend over you'll get a sunburn."

Then he started talking about Jesus and how we're supposed to live our lives according to the New Testament and everything was brought into perspective. Here are some nuggets from class:

"If you're not a generous person you probably don't know Jesus."

"If you're generous with your words you're probably generous with your money."

"If you look like Jesus in your suffering you're doing good and Jesus will use it in a redemptive way."

"The profound thing that changes the hearts of men is His unrelenting forgiveness."

"Live in the light of the second coming of Jesus because it really could be today."

"Environmental issues are moral issues and people who think they aren't don't know their bibles."

"If you have a special relationship with a teacher you also have special responsibilities."

"It's not what you know, it's whether you're willing to change."

"Our deepest ethical moments don't happen at the level of our intellect, they happen at the level of our emotions."

So, I could go on and on...but that's it for now. My heart is wrenched!

Music is a beautiful thing

Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without-Confucius. I think this is really true. Especially when you have the pleasure of being a maker of music. Tonight was worship team rehearsal and we played some good music. It is such a pleasure to watch my friends play their instruments. Each person is responsible for what they are doing with their instrument but it is all of those individual instruments working together that create the song and the experience of that song. Playing songs can become old and repetitive until we break out of the mold and try something new with the same old chords. That's when magic happens. Sometimes it seems as though my heart will burst. It is heart wrenching in the most beautiful sort of way.

Isn't this the same as life? It is routine and repetitive then something happens to break us out of the mold. We walk to work a different way. We try a new coffee place. We see someone we've known forever in a new way. We experience tradition differently. Easter is this weekend. It has been part of my life as long as I can remember, yet every year my heart is moved in a new way. Will I see the crucifixion of Jesus differently this year? Perhaps it will be the resurrection. Perhaps I will see the story from the perspective of Judas or see the rendering of the curtain in a new way. I don't know. But I anticipate it will be heart wrenching in a beautiful kind of way.